"How Soccer is Ruining America" link: "How Soccer is Ruining America: A Jeremiad", by Stephen H. Webb, is a jeremiad about how a sport as simple as soccer is a destructive force to the American society as a whole. Webb is a professor of religion and philosophy, so one would believe that his claim is credible. Webb uses an ironic tone in this satire to take a comical approach to this widespread idea that several individuals amid society believe. Throughout his essay, Webb uses key arguments which highlights the reasons why he supposedly stands for the idea that soccer is destroying America, when clearly in the last few paragraphs, it can be realized that Webb actually takes the position of the one against his own arguments used throughout the essay.
If a reader began to read this essay, he/she would be angered by how hypocritical Webb is, as seen throughout the essay, one can see how he mentioned that he played baseball as a young child, and Webb accurately describes his opinion and memories on the sport. Webb mentions that "when I was a kid, baseball was the most popular sport precisely because it was so demanding... even its language was intimidating" (268). Yet, at the bottom of the page, Webb remarks that "girls are too smart to waste an entire day playing baseball" (268) when he played it as a young child and perceived it to be intimidating, and demanding. Webb is purposely contradicting himself to take a comical approach to this essay, to make the reader angry about the excessive hypocrisy used by Webb. Additionally, Webb pokes fun at various different groups of people in society, such as "girls", "Conservative suburban families", and even "American parents". Webb mocks girls and how "soccer is a game for girls" (page 268) because "soccer mimics the paradigmatic feminine experience of childbirth more than the masculine business of destroying your opponent with insurmountable power" (269). In this articulation, he is insisting that "soccer is a game for the weak, and girls are weak" in order to further support his assertion. Webb then ridicules "Conservative, suburban families" by stating that " Conservative suburban families, the backbone of America, have turned to soccer in droves" (269). He insists that this is because "baseball is too intimidating, football too brutal, and basketball takes too much time" (269). Webb chooses to assert this in order to support his argument that soccer's "promotion and implementation are thoroughly domestic, and a self-inflicted wound" (269). Webb uses the idiom "droves" to make a comical joke that the readers would understand because he understands just who his audience is: fellow soccer enthusiasts. Webb mentions God and crucial events in the Bible several times (as he is a philosopher and a professor of religion, which helps develops ethos). In his argumentation that "feet are dirty, and that is why we use them to play soccer", Webb states "Did Jesus wash his disciples' hands at the Last Supper? No, hands are divine, while feet are in need of redemption" (268).
At the end of Webb's essay , the reader can see that indeed Webb is actually for the game of soccer, he even has all three of his kids play the game. Webb is against the belief that "soccer is ruining America", and his support to his inference is when he says "last year, all three of my Kids were on three different soccer teams at the same time... I read books on the sidelines during the game, and this embarrasses my daughter to no end... that is one way of protesting the rise of this pitiful sport... nonetheless, I must say that my kids and I come home from a soccer game a very happy family" (page 269). This entire sentence is an irony, just like the laugh-out loud essay written by a very good-humored man.
"How Soccer is Ruining America" link:
http://www.firstthings.com/web-exclusives/2009/03/how-soccer-is-ruining-america
If a reader began to read this essay, he/she would be angered by how hypocritical Webb is, as seen throughout the essay, one can see how he mentioned that he played baseball as a young child, and Webb accurately describes his opinion and memories on the sport. Webb mentions that "when I was a kid, baseball was the most popular sport precisely because it was so demanding... even its language was intimidating" (268). Yet, at the bottom of the page, Webb remarks that "girls are too smart to waste an entire day playing baseball" (268) when he played it as a young child and perceived it to be intimidating, and demanding. Webb is purposely contradicting himself to take a comical approach to this essay, to make the reader angry about the excessive hypocrisy used by Webb. Additionally, Webb pokes fun at various different groups of people in society, such as "girls", "Conservative suburban families", and even "American parents". Webb mocks girls and how "soccer is a game for girls" (page 268) because "soccer mimics the paradigmatic feminine experience of childbirth more than the masculine business of destroying your opponent with insurmountable power" (269). In this articulation, he is insisting that "soccer is a game for the weak, and girls are weak" in order to further support his assertion. Webb then ridicules "Conservative, suburban families" by stating that " Conservative suburban families, the backbone of America, have turned to soccer in droves" (269). He insists that this is because "baseball is too intimidating, football too brutal, and basketball takes too much time" (269). Webb chooses to assert this in order to support his argument that soccer's "promotion and implementation are thoroughly domestic, and a self-inflicted wound" (269). Webb uses the idiom "droves" to make a comical joke that the readers would understand because he understands just who his audience is: fellow soccer enthusiasts. Webb mentions God and crucial events in the Bible several times (as he is a philosopher and a professor of religion, which helps develops ethos). In his argumentation that "feet are dirty, and that is why we use them to play soccer", Webb states "Did Jesus wash his disciples' hands at the Last Supper? No, hands are divine, while feet are in need of redemption" (268).
At the end of Webb's essay , the reader can see that indeed Webb is actually for the game of soccer, he even has all three of his kids play the game. Webb is against the belief that "soccer is ruining America", and his support to his inference is when he says "last year, all three of my Kids were on three different soccer teams at the same time... I read books on the sidelines during the game, and this embarrasses my daughter to no end... that is one way of protesting the rise of this pitiful sport... nonetheless, I must say that my kids and I come home from a soccer game a very happy family" (page 269). This entire sentence is an irony, just like the laugh-out loud essay written by a very good-humored man.
"How Soccer is Ruining America" link:
http://www.firstthings.com/web-exclusives/2009/03/how-soccer-is-ruining-america